Dear Pearl,

Linguini has been troubled by strange dreams lately, Pearl.  He is a black bird with long feet who flies over high seas looking for . . . . Well, that is just it, Pearl.  What IS he seeking?  Back and forth over turbulent water he goes, the sea foam soaking him, the waves pounding like thunder all around him.  He wakes exhausted.  His work suffers.  He serves from the wrong side, pours from all angles, snaps at Louise, forgets to bring the mail in on the silver tray.  In your long experience running a household, Dear, have you ever encountered similar difficulties?  What advice would you offer me?  I will be in your debt for any tidbit of wisdom you might throw my way!

I Remain as Always, Your Devoted Miss Blue