Dear Pearl,

Your preferred Paris was a rather headstrong young man, don't you think, Pearl? In our modern times his kidnapping of another man's wife and setting off a terrible war would be considered well, boorish, I should think, wouldn't you? Perhaps civilization is moving onward and upward despite impressions to the contrary.I do apologize for mystifying you, Dear. I had thought to try out the device of the non sequitur to amuse more than annoy. My Latin is rusty, it being a dead language after all, so I may have done something wrong.

Little Fanny seems a bit down these days. She is anxious for her mother to be restored among us. To cheer her up I have sent Louise off to Glocca Morra for a bit and replaced her with an out-of-work Italian tenor who sings constantly as he goes about his household tasks. It is so nice to not hear Louise always grumbling about this or that. And Linguini, though shaky on the highest notes, is so earnest about keeping us amused that it makes one want to weep with joy.

I Remain, As Always, Your Devoted Miss Blue