Dear Miss Blue,

There is a Saint Pearl, named by the Casual Catholics (CC's) in Michigan. They were wondrous in their appreciation of my unwavering energy. For though they were taught to observe the saints' way, they were CC's overwhelmed by the trials of everyday life. The acts of faith toward others and especially toward those in need were just too much for them to bear. So I was catapulted to Sainthood without the sanction of the Pope. It was an astonishing step they took (catapulting me), and one which we don't talk about in public. But I have a good mind to write to the Ford folk, there in Dearborn, just to offer St Pearl Classic as a name for their most recent model. It runs on celery juice, a popular crop in Michigan, I understand, which has caused the value of celery stock to skyrocket. Shareholders are going crazy with their newly discovered wealth. And the farmers, of course, are hurriedly planting celery. I have always loved the smell of Celery Leaves....