Dear Pearl,

Melba says she is never going to drive with Louise again! All the way home from St Petersburg she sat in the back seat and never stopped complaining! The Russians drink too much. The house had chicken legs! Fanny should have played outside more! Linguini's losing his voice! The Jack of Hearts is missing from her favorite deck of cards! And so on and so on. Melba said it got so bad that she tried to hail a passing car for a passenger exchange. But Louise pretended to be a mad woman and rolled her eyes like a lunatic as she rocked back and forth in a completely unhinged sort of way. The people kind enough to stop packed themselves back into their car and left in a hurry. Louise and Melba are not speaking to each other any more. But at least we are all at home and the house is big enough that we can stay out of each other's way. Vacations are a little hard sometimes.

Do write and let me know how your summer is going and if the Diner is humming along and if you have fallen in love with anyone, or entered any sweepstakes or voice competitions.

I Remain As Always, Your Devoted Miss Blue

Dear Pearl,

The woman we had before we had Louise liked her bourbon and scotch, too. And although it did make her fly from time to time, it never made her happy. She was a dreadful old thing and we were glad when she moved on. To a farm in Kentucky where they raised pigs and tobacco. C'est la vie. C'est la guerre. C'est l'oiseau bleu!

I Remain As Always, Your Devoted Miss Blue

Pigs in Kentucky love Drambuie and Jim Beam. Scotch and Bourbon are mixed with their table scraps often causing them to escape over their pig sty.  For once they taste the exotic liquors they become exuberant, with no fear of the sky, leaping up and over the pig sty, not to return until another mealtime.  Louise is certainly right when she says Flying Pigs are tastier.  And that is because they are Happy Pigs. The sausage dish will be successful alongside the War and Peace Delight, that old Russian favorite....

Love from Pearl, Helpful Always

Dear Pearl,

All philosophical musings about serendipity aside, we are most anxiously awaiting the pork sausage. Louise says pigs are never tastier than when they fly. Is there enough Drambuie for that, do you think?

I Remain As Always, Your Devoted Miss Blue

Dear Miss Blue,

When all good intentions come to this! Sweeney Todd couldn't have done it better! Now the meats will be acclaimed as being the most elegant in taste; just an undeserved praise, while we all know the true taste is disguised and who knows, somewhere there is a laughing boar. What a twist of fate this story tells, Miss Blue. Actually, another thought has just come to me. When my faithful butcher handed me the sausage, he whispered softly in my ear, so that others in the shop couldn't hear, that he had laced the sausage with a heavy dose of my favorite liqueur, Drambuie, of course (to hide a rather strong, wild taste)!

Pearl, not guessing after all

Dear Pearl,

Oh dear! It seems Vronsky himself was the Russian boar you spied there on the sawdust floor, Pearl. Please take a moment to compose yourself, it's a dreadful surprise, I know! Nevertheless, we look forward to the sausage you have sent! Yes we will be attending the potluck. But without the dancing houseguests who have been visiting Melba. Thank goodness! Fanny is not attending camp this year but Louise is teaching her how to knit and she spends her afternoons fashioning long lumpy scarves to bestow on recipients yet unknown. Tis truly better to give than to receive!


I Remain Your Devoted Miss Blue

Of course, when a scoundrel meets his due there is a sigh of relief; although, Miss Blue, exactly how did the Count Vronsky find his way to my butcher shop, or do I misunderstand the course of his travels? A very disturbing story; and just for being overbearing; a lesson to be learned I suppose. Lording over another person is reason for debate. I see it all the time around here. Yes, taking a stand for no good reason but to be Overbearing is to be squashed in good company.

I have sent a package of sausage on to Louise, packed in sawdust and heavy paper, in a wooden box made especially for sending perishable food, especially meats. You will find it so delicious served with, of course, fried apples and cinnamon sticks for holding. You will attend the potluck dinner, of course?

Give my love to Melba and Fanny. Nothing like summer camp for Fanny, is it? Does she at least practice knots; and I must say, the Kan Kan Garoo dance intrigues me, Happily dancing the Jump. Those Russians are so advanced in the Arts; even providing Circus Schools for young dancers and acrobats, learning the ways of the circus. Please write again, Miss Blue.

Until I hear again from you, Pearl

Dear Pearl,

Rumors flew for months after Count Vronsky disappeared. He was not well liked in the neighborhood for his overbearing ways and foul play seemed likely. But no one suspected he would wind up thousands of miles away on the floor of a butcher shop! How cruel life is! Louise likes the idea of your sending some of the sausage packed in ice here. She wants to make War and Peace Delight for the potluck the sturdy peasants put on each Friday. They are sensible and down to earth types who have made us feel most welcome. On the other hand, Melba's theater friends are wearing us out! They are very fashionable and know all the latest gossip and most of the latest dance steps. The Kan Kan Garoo is but a sample of the silliness I have had to put up with since they came. I shall have to put my foot down soon. But in the meantime it is fun to have the house filled with enough people to distract Melba from the breakup with her latest beau. She really is a very moody woman!

I Remain As Always, Your Devoted Miss Blue

Dear Miss Blue,

This very day, as I was tramping about in the Village, I wandered into my favorite butcher shop. You might remember the place, I've told you about it many times, the one with sawdust covering the wooden floors. Well, strangely enough, Miss Blue, there, among the slabs of ice and large red and orange apples, lay the pig! My friend, the butcher, explained that this was no ordinary pig, if that was what I was thinking. He went on to say these words: This is a Wild Russian Pig. Can you believe it, Miss Blue? Is this not a serendipitous moment? Your letter describing the summer home in the woods outside St. Petersburg and the Wild Russian Pig there in the showcase of my butcher shop. I was, and continue to be, astounded and overwhelmed at the fateful ways of the world!

With no Louise on hand, I decided to have the butcher make up a pound of sausage, 3 lbs of bacon and one 3-lb roast, having to return on the morrow for the complete package. Please advise Louise, will you? She might want me to send her some of the sausage and bacon for a few meals.

Write and tell me more about your days there in the woods. Give my love to Melba, Fanny, and Louise and Linguini.

Love from Pearl

Sadness of the Poultry, so true. They need insects and dandelions and sardine cans filled with fresh Kentucky well water. That is true, Pearl says.

We have taken a summer house in the woods outside of St Petersburg, Pearl. Melba found it for us. Vasilissa Fyodorovitch from her Methods and Neuroses of Acting class knew of it and put in a good word for our little group. We are here until Fanny returns to school after Labor Day. It would make us so happy if you could join us! There is something magical about this setting. An air of enchantment that makes us feel transported to another dimension. It is hard to put my finger on it exactly, Pearl. Linguini goes about humming his second act aria from "The Sadness of the Poultry" and Louise is doggedly making her way through the 101 Clever Ways to Make Chicken Crouettes Appealing cookbook. Fanny says she can never take enough pictures of the scenery - it seems to change every day! Oh say you can come!

Your Devoted Miss Blue