Dear Pearl,

The woman we had before we had Louise liked her bourbon and scotch, too. And although it did make her fly from time to time, it never made her happy. She was a dreadful old thing and we were glad when she moved on. To a farm in Kentucky where they raised pigs and tobacco. C'est la vie. C'est la guerre. C'est l'oiseau bleu!

I Remain As Always, Your Devoted Miss Blue