Dear Pearl,

I was so glad to hear from you at last, Pearl. Please do be more careful about exposing yourself to the hoi polloi. They are notoriously unclean and contagious. It is time for you to roll up your sleeves and jump into the fray with the SLOWER CARS FOR AMERICA campaign. Perhaps a small tour of the Midwest in the St. Pearl Classic spreading your charm and warmth along the way. Why, you might even think of traveling in my old palanquin. They've become quite popular with all this blather about global warming and carbon footprints. I don't understand that and I don't care about that. All I know is you would look majestic carried upon the shoulders of volunteer citizens, waving from time to time to a particularly earnest looking member of the madding crowd. And too high above them all to exchange handshakes. Isn't that the beauty of it?

I Remain Your Devoted Miss Blue