Dear Pearl,

Caspian? Darling, Caspian was the mischievous monkey who tossed the better part of a king's ransom from the balcony of the counting house before the vicar apprehended him. He was later tried by the Arab judge to no avail. Caspian just mimicked every movement, every facial expression the good judge made. A total mockery of justice, you could say. He is still at large somewhere I'm sure. I insisted that he leave the household, of course. Can you blame me?

I Remain Your Devoted Miss Blue