Dearest Pearl,

Remember how excited the Heckers were when they finally got their baby after years of trying?He was so loud! And he would only eat buckweat cereal. And he wore diapers until he started first grade. What a perfectly awful time we had of it when our mothers conspired to leave us alone with him one Saturday afternoon. Who knew how dreadfully, completely, superbly, we would demonstrate our complete ineptness as babysitters. Remember how rude we were about his teddy bear? And how we switched his silver spoon for a knife and fork? I can hear him wailing still!

I Remain As Always,

Your Devoted Miss Blue