Dear Pearl,

I was alarmed to hear of your dogsledding accident, Pearl, and urge you again - for the umpteenth time - to consider upgrading your mammal to the more disciplined and reserved horse. The Norwegians only use dogs because they don't have room for the larger equines. With all those grand mountains and fjords limiting the boundaries of their little hamlets, they are pressed for space and need to consider the compactness of their animals. Dinosaurs, for example, were never welcomed in Norway. I shudder to think how much more damage might have occurred with the distractible Maizie in the harness. Oh Pearl, say you will consider retiring her from the transportation field. Perhaps she could retrain as a lapdog. I have heard that lapdogs lead quite easy lives.

I Remain Your Devoted Miss Blue